PTM supports families (of all kinds) who are experiencing interpersonal conflict between caregivers and teenage youth.
Families are referred to our program by a social worker when they need a helping hand to improve their relationship. Our mediators have unique training to work with families, rather than in business settings. One mediator, Karen Bondi, has dedicated more than 20 years to working with caregivers and children through FSGV.
Mediators like Karen meet with families for three months, with an option to extend for another three months if needed. Karen shared one family’s journey through PTM.
A single parent and their teen were referred to the program by a social worker after tension between the two had escalated to the point of the parent slapping the child across the face.
Karen began by meeting with the parent and teen separately, one-on-one, to discuss what they individually saw as the major issues in their relationship. The pre-mediation sessions are all about grounding the work with a client-focus, where both the teens and parents have equal opportunities to identify the problems they’d like to tackle.
For this family, the issues they focused on were schoolwork, household responsibilities, and curfew. With Karen’s guidance, they learned healthier methods of communication, with a focus on approaching one another with curiosity, a desire to understand, compassion, and respect. Karen told us, “We built so much trust that, by the last session, the two were hugging each other, crying.”
The depth of rapport built was not only between parent and teen—it was also with their mediator. The family stayed in contact with Karen, providing her with updates on their adventures and time together. Karen says the work she does is made easier because both parties want to have a better relationship. “I have a lot to work with: love. I always build on this in mediation. I remind people how much they love each other.” Even when she meets initial resistance to mediation, the underlying desire to be close usually wins out.
With early intervention programs like PTM, we can prevent further escalation. Learning better communication skills sets families on a different path—one that can avoid the levels of crisis we see in our other programming, like Directions Youth Services where youth are often estranged from their families, or in Specialized Family Supports where children have sometimes been removed from the home.
“We promote constructive dialogue and help them find mutual benefits and outcomes. It’s all about being curious. The mediator helps each party to see the other’s needs.”
– Karen Bondi, Mediator, FSGV
This kind of learning can create a ripple effect in the rest of their lives as they encounter interpersonal conflict in their community, at work, and in relationships of all kinds. Parent-Teen Mediation has an obvious impact on the families we work with—but the whole community benefits from healthier families and people who are empowered to approach conflict with curiosity and respect for the others involved.
This story originally appeared in the 2022/23 Report to the Community. See our most recent Annual Reports, here.