For most of the last nine years, I was a reclusive shut-in. Now, as I write this, I’m planning my next trip to Mexico and two months ago I went to Spain with my daughter. What’s at the bottom of this change? A trauma counselling program at Family Services of Greater Vancouver.
Within a month of seeing my counsellor, just once a week, my friends could see a difference. I was able to go to their homes again and meet them in places outside of my normal comfort zone.
My first aha moment was one day when I got this email from my employer. We don’t have a great relationship – they tend to bully me. Especially triggering were emails that I would receive from them. As soon as I saw their name, I would experience a terrible wave of anger and anxiety, to the point where I would be shaking. I used to respond immediately, because my traumas were alerted. I felt reactionary, hopeless and powerless. I couldn’t stop myself because I was going into defense mode. I seemed to be stuck in this cycle for many, many years.
However, after a particular counselling session, something changed in me and when I opened a new email from my boss, instead of reacting, I laughed and laughed. I didn’t respond right away. I took my time, remained calm, and felt like I was finally in control of my emotions. It felt like finally being free from a thorn in my side. When I didn’t have the same response, when I took my time and was able to stay calm, to laugh even, I realized that the counselling unlocked an understanding of myself. Understanding oneself is the key to moving forward.
That moment was so empowering and things like this kept happening – and they still are! I’m connected to music again. I’ve been a musician my whole life, but hadn’t touched it in so long, but now I’m playing guitar and writing songs again! I’m travelling to places I would have never thought I could go. I’m getting so much closer to my friends because I know myself better and I can let them know me better too.
There’s so much more to my story that brought me to Family Services – and I have so much ahead of me too.
My counsellor completely changed my life and I just want everyone who needs it to get a chance like this.
I had tried other counselling before and it wasn’t like this; and I wouldn’t have been able to have this experience if it wasn’t free. That is why I am sharing my story: there is help, it is free. I am finally living now, not just surviving and not just existing.
*Please note that this is not a picture of Jessica, whose name has also been changed for privacy.