I was caught off guard when my counsellor first asked me if I thought I would have benefitted from any of the programs that Family Services of Greater Vancouver offers.
This job had always felt really personal. Of course when I talked about work, I had always mentioned that I love getting to be part of an organization that’s really doing something for people. But before that, I had never thought about what these supports might have done for me.
If I had access to a program like our Sexual Abuse Intervention Program, I honestly don’t know all the ways my life would have been different. If I had been able to process my experiences with a counsellor as a child instead of retroactively as an adult, I would have spent less years confused about myself and my responses to the world around me. Going through counselling as a kid also would have left me better prepared for and more open to counselling as an adult, instead of waiting until I was stuck in a horrible mental health spiral in my mid-twenties. Instead of being resistant to seeing a counsellor, I would have more naturally understood the ways I could benefit from doing so.
Being in SAIP wouldn’t have saved me from my experiences – but it certainly would have given me tools for understanding and responding to what was going on in my mind and body. It would have facilitated some healing in ways I would have been able to carry forward with me. I would have had the chance to learn boundary setting, self-validation, and how to identify my emotions, sit with them, and connect to the present. There would have been someone there to remind me that none of what happened was my fault and to help me process the shame. Maybe most importantly: I would have felt, and been, less alone – and I know even that would have made a world of difference. In the years following the abuse, I felt so lonely, ashamed, and uncomfortable in my skin. Obviously there’s no way of knowing exactly the difference SAIP would have made for me. But I can make a pretty informed guess based on what counselling as an adult has given me and what SAIP is giving clients at FSGV now.
There are many chapters in my story that make the work here deeply meaningful to me. My counsellor helped me connect the dots: this line of work feels like a way of showing up for my past self and supporting her. I think that’s true for most of us at FSGV. The more of my coworkers I get to know, the more clear it is that most of us have lived experiences in the kinds of things our clients face. We can’t save people from their experiences, but we are working hard to give people the kinds of tools and supports that change lives. And, from the bottom of my heart, that feels damn good to be part of.
*Please note that this is not a picture of Mae, whose name has also been changed for privacy.